If you've ever felt guilty for having a good day after a loss, or wondered why grief seems to come in waves rather than a straight line, the Dual Process Model may be the most important framework you've never heard of.
Developed by Margaret Stroebe and Henk Schut in 1999, the Dual Process Model of Coping with Bereavement (DPM) offers a clear, research-grounded explanation of how people actually move through grief — not how we assume they should.
The Two Orientations
The model describes two orientations that grieving people oscillate between:
Loss-Orientation involves confronting the loss itself — the sadness, the yearning, the pain of missing someone. This is what most people picture when they think of grief.
Restoration-Orientation involves attending to the secondary consequences of loss — rebuilding daily life, adjusting to a new identity, taking on roles the deceased used to fill, sometimes even experiencing relief or distraction.
The critical insight of the DPM is this: both orientations are necessary, and healthy grieving involves moving back and forth between them.
Oscillation Is Not Avoidance
One of the most common misconceptions about grief is that focusing on anything other than the loss is avoidance — a sign that someone isn't "doing the grief work." The Dual Process Model corrects this directly.
Oscillation — the natural movement between loss-oriented and restoration-oriented coping — is not a failure to grieve. It is how healthy grieving actually works. A person who laughs with friends, returns to work, or makes plans for the future is not avoiding their grief. They are doing what the research says humans are built to do.
Equally, someone who is deeply in the pain of grief is not "stuck." They are doing the loss-oriented work that is just as necessary.
Why This Matters for Grief Support
Traditional grief support — and even some clinical models — can inadvertently pathologize one side of this oscillation. Groups that focus exclusively on emotional processing may leave people without tools for the restoration side. Programs that push people toward "moving on" may shortchange the loss-oriented work entirely.
At Live and Grieve™, the Dual Process Model is one of six evidence-informed frameworks woven into every session. It shapes how facilitators hold space — not pushing people toward either orientation, but creating a container where both are honored.
What This Looks Like in Practice
In a peer grief group grounded in the DPM, you might see:
- A participant sharing deep sorrow one week and plans for a new project the next — and both responses being received with equal care
- Facilitators who don't interpret laughter or humor as a red flag
- Session structures that don't demand emotional intensity as proof of engagement
- Space for the practical challenges of loss — finances, identity, roles — alongside the emotional ones
The Research Foundation
Stroebe and Schut's model has been validated across cultures and types of loss. It has been applied to spousal bereavement, parental loss, complicated grief, and workplace grief programs. It is cited in hospice training curricula, school counselor preparation programs, and EAP frameworks across the country.
It is not a theory about stages. It does not ask grievers to complete tasks in order. It describes what grief looks like when people are allowed to move through it at their own pace, in their own way — with support that honors both orientations.
One Framework Among Six
The Dual Process Model doesn't stand alone in Live and Grieve™. It works alongside Worden's Tasks of Mourning, Continuing Bonds Theory, Meaning Reconstruction, Self-Compassion, and the Companioning Model — six peer-reviewed frameworks organized in two layers: theoretical foundation and applied practice.
Together, they form a program built not on assumptions about how grief should look, but on decades of research about how it actually unfolds.
If you're ready to experience grief support built on this kind of foundation, the Solo Companion program offers a self-paced entry point — available anytime, anywhere. Learn more at solo.tripillarstudio.com.